Yeah, that's right... Meeeh... Hello everyone... This is me, keeping my promise and posting this week's update on this blog. Cause I really have nothing to say... Actually I do, but I'm not sure what that is... See, for some reason since I've woken up, I'm just down... By the way, just a small notice... I don't want to die. There are times that I might say that I do want to die, but I don't think it's true. I just want... calm-ness stuffs... Like a big empty nothingness in which I float and in which I don't have to worry for anything. And even as I write these, I really feel awkward. Like, seriously, what's the big fucking deal? I don't have any serious worries. Like NONE. Things are pretty cool lately. Things are cool as I speak! I'm just down, for no reason, and it's annoying the hell out of me. I don't want to be emo! I'm behaving like those morons I've been mocking all this time.
So yeah, meeeh and aggh <_<.>
The party all in all was fun... Well not like super fun, like the parties last year, but a huge improvement from the Akai Panda ones...
In other news, JLPT is drawing nearer (like a week from now) and I still haven't started learning the kanji I'm missing. I'll have a super studying session this week for sure. NaNo is kinda dead for me right now, but I've given a promise and I won't go back on my word. This work of mine will reach 10000 words even if it kills me (somehow).
And that's it... Here's some Blind Guardian for you and see you next week.
Yeah, that's right... Uuuugh. Another week is almost over... And by almost I mean... Actually, I do mean almost. Hmmm, so what's new for me, huh? Well, I guess... nothing. No, that can't be right... There are some new things. Actually there's this really cool new thing, in which I have some sort of confidence in myself lately. Yeah, now I believe that I may actually be a good dm... That's dungeon master for those of you who do not know what I'm talking about. And a dungeon master is the guy who creates a (fantasy) world and narrates a story for a group of people and has them go through an adventure. Yeah, basic pen and paper rpg lessons here, folks... Anyways, yeah, it seems that my friends are like, super excited about the story we've been playing, so I'm getting excited as well. I may not suck as much as I think. And then there's this new haircut. Seriously, I have no idea where does this confidence comes from, but, lately when I look myself in the mirror, I don't want to break the mirror in front of me (which had happened the last time I cut my hair, but I didn't punch the mirror, I punched the wall next to it, giving myself a hell of a knuckle-pain for a while afterwards). Well, it's not like I'm happy about the way I look, but at least I don't think I'm an abomination of nature anymore... It's a start, right? I mean, I was really surprised with myself.
However, good news are not the only thing I have for you this week (naturally, if there were good news only, it wouldn't be me, right?). Yeah, for some god-knows-why reason, I've been talking to people I don't want to be talking to lately. Crazy-stalker-girl is one of them and annoying-bitchy-bitch is the other one. I even sent annoying-bitchy-bitch my NaNoWriMo text and she read it (correcting me in the process, something that made me want to fucking yell at her, which I didn't, cause I'm a wuss). As a matter of fact annoying-bitchy-bitch isn't all that annoying, however, there's something fishy about her (that's not her fins). She's... weird in a I-don't-know-why-I'm-talking-to-you-but-it's-not-as-bad-as-I-expected-it-to-be... Yeah, I have no idea what I'm going to do... Oh, and there's always this fucking fatass that thinks that me and Marilena are her bestest friends ever... And there's Dorina-chan, who is weird and cool, but I really can't figure her out.
Wait, there was one more thing I wanted to whine about... Uuuummm... Yeah, I can't remember it... On the other hand, there are the "guys" from my japanese class, that I really enjoy spending time with, but I'm also kinda scared of them as well. I have no idea if they like me or not, or what do they want from me, or what kind of consequences will me hanging out with them have... I really have less time in my hands than I would like, and yet, I still spend most of my morning locked in my room doing nothing. Seriously, it's not that this has been a bad week or anything, it's just kinda complicated and meh-ish... Oh, Ryan got his new pc (which is awesome. His monitor is like a freaking television. It's HUGE!). Oh, and by the way: the title is about my NaNo and (obviously) my haircut.
NaNo... Yeah, that's not really going all that well. Although I do like the part that I'm writing right now, it's taking me forever since for one, I can't get myself to sit down and write and two, the two times I have managed to do so, I get really freaked out by my thoughts and mental images I get that I have to quit and go to bed. I mean REALLY freaked out. The night before yesterday, I started shaking and wanted to puke... And then it hit me that, it's doesn't seem so graphic or gore in the text. It's just the image in my head that freaks me out. Brrr... Anyways... I promise that by tonight, I'll have that particular part done and out of my way, and hopefully I'll get back to writing once per day. I know I can't make it to 50000 words by the end of the month , but I've set my goal to 10000 at least. Then, if I see that I've still got ideas, I'll keep on writing this story, until I reach the 50000 words and have a full novel written by myself! (yeah, it's not really going to happen, I think).
And thus ends another of my rants. I'm supposed to be putting a song or something here which I am going to do, but truth be told, I'm not really sure of what to put here... I've been listening to classical music lately, because of the anime I'm watching (Nodame Cantabille) and I've also been listening to the batman theme from the movie and I like neither for this post... So, I'll go with some Megadeth and "When"
I suppose it's getting pretty old and repetitive putting song names as a title, but I find this to be quite fitting, so here it is. What can I say? I'm going crazy...
I don't know if there's some sort of mating season for human beings, but if there is, then this must be it. Cause, seriously, I don't know what the fuck is going on with me. It's either that or the fact that I've spent the whole fucking year (and 2 months now) sex-less. It's almost constantly on my mind, and for the love of god, I've almost done some stupid things. I mean, I knew I was in trouble from the moment that I did whatever I did with that horrible slut, Nausica, but jeez! Seriously, something's wrong with me lately. It could explain all the nerves and the tension I've been having. So, is it all in my mind, or is it some sort of weird thing in the air telling me I need to mate and have children to continue my species? I'd bet on the first one actually, but I'd hope for the second one, so that I wouldn't have to be alone in this...
However, as if to support the idea that something's wrong with my brain lately, the weirdest thing... happened(?) to me the other day. You all know how sometimes you start thinking something and, another voice pops up in your head and you practically have a dialog with yourself, with one side agreeing and the other disagreeing with what you're saying? Well if you don't do that, you now know that I've been doing it. Well, I was walking home the other day when I started talking outloud to... absolutely noone... I was just imagining what I'd say to people I hate, if I had the chance. I literally gave a speech to an invisible Nausica, and all that in english, before realizing what I'm doing. And when I did realise it (and stopped it) I tried to have an internal dialog with myself, which failed! The other me never came out to disagree with me!...
Anyways... I don't think there's something else for me to whine about... I mean, life's been moderate actually. DnD stuffs, Marilena doesn't hate me after all, (my NaNoWriMo text sucks ass but that's to be expected), anime parties and japanese classes, Tekken 6, Kostas left to join the army ... Generally, things have been pretty normal. I'm actually having fun, and I keep on trying to come up with a way to somehow get the girl to notice me (something that doesn't involve jokes about me getting undressed in front of the audience at the cosplay cafe, which seems to be the only thing she wants to tell me, then laugh about it with a friend, then ignore me again). Again though, perhaps I get too excited over her for no reason (as I usually do with those situations). Ugh... Anyways... Really, things have been ok.
Anyways (what is this, 5th time I say that?) Pizza is here, so I'm off. See ya next week
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Good evening... (Let's play a little game. Try to count the times I use awesome in just one post :) ) Is this greeting getting boring? It could be. Perhaps I should create a catchphrase. Something I'll always use as a greeting and it'll be awesome and everyone will know it's me. Yeah, no, that ain't gonna happen :P .
So I come with a surprise today. I'm (almost) happy! Yes! No nagging (yet) and no miserable stories from the crypt that my life has ended up being. Yes, finally, I can confess that, even though my love life downright sucks ass, another part of my life, and that is, the japanese class and generally my social contacts are pretty awesome. I woke up yesterday in a terribly awfull mood. Emo stuffs, really. However as the day advanced, I found myself feeling better and better, with the pinacle of the day (or night, cause it gets really dark after like 5 pm now, so...) being my japanese class. Seems like people don't actually hate me for existing, and some might even like me. I had loads of fun and the (new) girl I like even talked to me! How super special awesome is that? By the way, yes, I've been watching Yu-Gi-Oh : The Abridged Series lately among the other things I do.
And by other things, I come to my second very very cool point of this post. NaNoWriMo. Aha... Yeah, turns out I majorly suck and will never actually manage to finish the story I came up with, but I do try to put pressure on me, and at least write, even if that means writing 100 words per day. Normally I need to put down at least 5000 per day, something that for 5 consecutive days now I've been avoiding. I've barely reached the first 1000 and it's my 5th day. It's a start though... Perhaps there will come a day when I am able to actually reach 2000 in a day. And if that happens during this month, then I'll be pleased. The story I came up with, (and I don't know if I really came up with it, or had the assistance of others. If the second happens, then I wish you all die and burn in hell. I never asked for your fucking help, you losers) seems pretty good in my head, although I don't know if I actually have the talent to go with it. Perhaps I should stop reading mangas and comics and focus on books, to get my head straight, about how literature works and not drawings. Anyways...
I actually have quite a lot to say, but for some reason, I feel very pressured. I need to go and write. And that's something I don't normally say, so really, perhaps NaNo is helping. By the way, I really hate the way SOME people keep on telling me to write, after having read what I've already written. IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSSINESS, OK? Try telling me what you think until now, and leave the scheduling to me. (I'm not talking about Marilena btw)
... It's quite the miracle really. I started this post filled with amazingly good mood, and ended up completely angry. Perhaps I should kill my friends and then lock myself in a mental institute... That'll help me keep calm... Probably... Anyways. See ya next week
